Love Believes the Best

Rhinos to Rugrats - Love Believes the BestIn The Love Dare, today’s chapter and challenge starts off by telling a story of a room located in the deep corridors of your heart where there are kind words and phrases written that you have discovered about your spouse.  I was immediately sent back in time to the beginning of my relationship with my husband, when we were still sorting out what we were to each other but knew that whatever it was, it was important.  Each day, when we weren’t together, at random times, we would send each other emails or messages only containing words that described the other person.  There were at least 100 words when we were finished several weeks later.  Some of those words included:  dashing, smart, sincere, brave, impressive, warm, captivating and dedicated.

Rhinos to Rugrats - Love Believes the BestThe dare also speaks of another room, where the walls are covered in things that bother you about your spouse.  Things that were placed there out of hurt, frustration, and anger.  This is a room I don’t want to visit.  This is a room where people fall out of love.  Most likely, the first room was put to use when you first met your spouse, in the initial stages of your relationship.  The other room was more frequented after time has passed in your relationship, stress has entered, and the spark has faded.  Love decides not to live in this room.  I choose not to spend any time in this room.

Rhinos to Rugrats - Love Believes the Best No matter how bad things get in my relationship or how ugly a fight turns, I try not to throw out any words that could end up on the walls of this second room.  However, I am also guilty of not lingering in the first room long enough.  After remembering the list of words from the beginning of our relationship, I went back to find that list and dove head first in to files upon files of messages of all kinds that I had saved from the first few years of our relationship and marriage.  Not many days went by where we didn’t share a special feeling or remind the other person of just how much we loved them.  We don’t do that nearly enough anymore.  I let life get in the way.  I put other things before my husband and our marriage on days when I get overwhelmed with my to-do list.  I act selfish and unkind.

Rhinos to Rugrats - Love Believes the Best

So today’s challenge was just what I needed and today’s topic was just the motivation I needed to dive in to some old memories and bring them back to the surface again!

Rhinos to Rugrats - Love Believes the Best

Since I had just re-read so many of our old messages, the first list of positive things was easy for me to write.  The second list of negative things, thankfully, didn’t flow so easily.  It might have made the challenge a little difficult for me, but it sure made me feel great about our relationship and my attitude toward it and my husband.  If I had a hard time thinking of negative things about my spouse, maybe that means I’m spending more time in that first room in the corridors of my heart.  Maybe that means, I give him the benefit of the doubt and that my love believes the best in him!  I did come up with just a couple of things, but my positive list is much larger in comparison and for that I’m so proud.  I’m interested to see how we will use each of these lists in later challenges.

Rhinos to Rugrats - Love Believes the Best

The final part of the challenge was to choose one item from my positive list and thank my husband for having this characteristic.  The characteristic I chose to thank him for was the way he ALWAYS tries to do things to make my life easier.  He tidies up, takes our daughter to some of her activities so I can have a break or just takes her to do something so I can get some alone time, fixes little issues that don’t really matter but make things easier for me, etc.  He just always has my back, even when I don’t realize I need him to.  Thinking about all the best things about my hubby just made me love him even more than I already do, so this exercise was great for me!  I definitely recommend it!

Rhinos to Rugrats - Love Believes the Best

 

What are some things about your spouse written on the walls of the positive room in your heart?  Do you have more positive things than negative things?  Which room do you spend more time in?

*The quotes and challenges in this post are not my original content and are excerpts taken from The Love Dare.  The opinions and experiences in the post are my own and not directly taken from the book.

Day 8:  Love is Not Jealous
Day 9:  Love Makes Good Impressions

 

 

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37 Responses to Love Believes the Best

  1. Joely Smith says:

    What a wonderful enlightening post! My hubby and i have some things we do that are special – such as this little statuette we found at a second hand store. It is a little girl with her arms spread and it has I Love You This Much on it. We hide it in special places for each other – in a shoe, or in the dog food LOL just to be funny and see how long it takes for the other to find it :)
    I love your idea of the rooms and the lists! We will do this. xo

  2. Myrabev says:

    Love the quotes, dealing on the positives its the best way to go about it and when negative situations are proven true you use the positive nature to deal with them. Thanks for sharing, I am enjoying reading you love dare challenge and your honesty through out.

  3. My husband and I watched The Love Dare and did the book/workbook a few years ago. It was really eye-opening for us.

  4. Angelic Sinova says:

    I love this! I’m not married but I do believe that the more you spend time thinking of the positive things about your partner, they better relationship you’ll have <3

  5. Shipra says:

    Focusing on the positives rather than the negatives is the best way to get to know someone, and Lord knows it’s hard to do so when someone has done something to make you only focus on the negatives. But, spouses should be partners, and it should be more trusting and loving than other relationships! :)

  6. Amanda Love says:

    Hubby and I have been married for almost 10 years and we’ve visited almost all of those rooms. I think my words for hubby would be understanding and courageous because he truly is.

  7. amber says:

    My husband and I did the Love Dare back when we were dating and recently revisited it. This was one of my favorite days! I loved seeing how easy it was to make the positive list and how challenging it was to come up with a negative list! It’s a great reminder to keep your words and actions positive! Thank you for sharing!

  8. Erlene says:

    What a great way to focus on the positive and not dwell in the negative. Thanks for sharing this.

  9. Summer Ann says:

    I love that you are doing the Love Dare. We did this in the beginning of our marriage and it was so good for us. No one told us how hard the first year was going to be but things like this really helped us reconnect and get back on track. Good luck!

    Xoxo,
    Summer Ann
    http://www.simplysummerann.com

  10. Valerie says:

    Great post! My husband and I have read The Love Dare a couple of times and each time we both got something out of it.

  11. Nancy says:

    Such great quotes from that book. :)

  12. Those are great tips to help have a successful marriage. More people need to read these tips.

  13. Andi says:

    I definitely believe I have more positive than negative, which I feel truly blessed about!

  14. I love this concept! I’m a visual person, so imaging love and hate as two rooms really helps me understand how to shift my mindset. Thanks for sharing!

  15. Melissa Vera says:

    Yes I have more positive than negative. Although he makes me mad sometimes, I don’t know what I would do without him.

  16. Angie B. says:

    I could def write a list of positives about my husband. I think I could write a few on the negative too but he also could for me. Hubby and I have known each other a long time and I don’t think there’s much we don’t know about each other. Positive or negative I know he’s the one I’m supposed to be with. He’s told me a number of times that I was always the standard to which other girls were measured but they never measured up. (We knew each other since elementary school)

  17. rosey says:

    I’m very, very careful with my words. I grew up in a family that had members who were not, and I know how long negative words can stick.

  18. karissa says:

    Such a great day of the love dare. So important to remember this.

  19. Corina Ramos says:

    The hubs and I have been together for 23 years now. We are BFFs for sure. We love the same music, movies, sports, hobbies.

    Now that our kids are grown we can just get up and take off and spend the day doing whatever…mainly eating :).

    Loved this post!

  20. Amby Felix says:

    This is so awesome! I am so blessed to have such a wonderful husband!

  21. amanda mcmahon says:

    Some great quotes to keep in mind during struggles.

  22. Marissa says:

    I love the “It’s time to let love lead your thoughts and your focus” quote! Such a good one to live by. I definitely think we spend more time in the positive room. Saying mea things to each other or things that might be interpreted in the wrong way is an easy way to break down any relationship. I really love this Love Dare!

  23. Jeanette E. says:

    I love positive psychology!

  24. Great post. I’m not married but have been with my boyfriend for almost 14 years now.

  25. Hayden says:

    Great quotes. Love is patient, kind and it does not envy. One of my favorite love quotes.

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